I’ve decided ot flex the fingerts again and start blogging – I actually enjoyed doing it before so I shall damn well pull my finger out of where it has resided for the past 18 months and get my blog on.

The blogs are gonna be here and on ojborg.wordpress.com as well as I seem to haev forgotten most of my log in details for this site being an idiot and all that.

So join me over there as well.

Well its about fucking time. Now although I sit here writing this on a Mac and OSX, I don’t really like steve jobs that much and have made my thoughts pretty clear in this blog as I think his “lets bum the consumer as they will be dazzled by the marvelous design” and we are. we lap down the changes, the obvious built in obsolescence that these things have…. but his isn’t about Jobs, this is about Gates.

Now I’m afraid that I don’t have the first clue of how this new operating system will work, will it be better than windows ME (which actually did have ‘ME’ and was like the Phantom menace of Microsoft’s products) will the “virtualisation be the making of a whole new online based society. I don”t have the answers. I don have them as I don’t have B.O, knowledge of all episodes of Enterprise and still live at home and there for I’m not qualified for this subject.

What I can say is though, that why spend the millions and millions of geek power and money developing something revolutionary and then name it after a melon based liqueur that teenagers (and me) only drink when they run out of everything else including Thunderbird and sherry.

Why not call it Mirage or Addvocaat? or what about 20/20 (why was it called that? you certainly couldn’t see like that after a bottle of the shite)

Maybe this is what the Silicon Valley guys were shit faced on at the last Microsoft Warhammer night and thought it’d be a good idea. Possible but not probable… they are mad for Lambrini are Bill Gates and his minions.

What 80’s fruit based Liqueur do you think they should call it after? Leave me a message.

I’m back from the Bullrun, back to blighty and the inclement weather. Although its good to be home in a way I’ve now really go tthe urge to do one out of this city. Now this is wishful thinking for many reasons.

1 – I’ve just moved in with my girlfriend and she relocated to London for me, has just got a good job and is already ready to punch ma teef out for moaning wanting to move away.

2 – all my work is in London at the moment.

3 – There isn’t really anywhere left in the UK that I want to live. I wouldn’t mind being close to the sea so what do you do?

So basically I’ve come back with itchy feet and not a lot of ways to cure it other than shut up. And I should really so I will…… unless you are an LA based agent reading this then please can I have some work so I can enjoy some sunshine. I prepared to beg.

And one other thing while I displace my anger at not being on a beach onto other things – the next person I see high five someone will be beaten. You are not in Top Gun, nor is it 1987. And even if you are ognna do it can you please not do it in such a completely geeky white way.

Oh and I want one of these. Maybe I could make California on one if I lept from telecom tower…….

[youtube lWF8KV4IW5o]

Startline/keys locked in the boot

Arrested

Arrested

Car Impounded

Gun pulled on me

Stag do on the side of the motorway

vegas wedding

Petrol? What petrol

Fear of death/lambo

Keep that breath baited and I’ll be back in a week.

You heard it here first. go me.

Now I’m sat in on a thursday night having just done the washing up while watching the start of Big Brother (is it eight? do I care?) and the only word I seem to be able to mutter is “COCK”, cause that is what they all are. Without exception. I challenge you to watch BB for more than 20 seconds before you utter that most fantastic of describing words at our TV screen.

But then I may mock, and I do, but here I am sat here watching the “COCKS” co in, scream, pretend they like each other and generally act like “COCKS”.

I just spoke to my good mate the Hymenator who is disgusted about me watching this televisual tripe. But the thing is, BB for me is a form of therapy…. I can get all my hate out at the TV screen and then spend the rest of day being kind to strangers and stroking dogs.

So early judgement of whose gonna win? actually no, thats passe and I can guarantee that every other blog will do the same thing. Lets go with who will be the most hated and take the plaque off Charley Uchea, Jo O’Mera and Jade “Jabba’s Palace” Goody to be our most “cherished” celebrity.

I’ve thought of 4 categories….

Most likely to be lynched.

Most likely to get their respective twinkle/sausage out on camera

Most Likely to have a spread in the Daily Star when they get out

Most likely to make a shit load of money

Feel free to let me know your thoughts on those categories if you can be assed, if not then I shall watch tonights proceedings and post later with my guess at the early contenders for OJ’s Subtle Cock Awards 08.

COCKS! (apart from the blind one, he seems alright – watch him be a closet nazi or something now I’ll end this blog witha little reason why we watch this poo……

[youtube sR__gRs-tlQ]

And thats all I’m writing right now as I’m supposed to be packing up and cleaning James’s flat before (I still owe him rent – should I go on the run?) getting the van and doing the slog across London, and I’m looking for any excuse to sack it off.

Right a bit more packing then I will edit and further right upon this blog.

UDPATE

So today is Wednesday and I have not done any updating on the move. Why? Well thats becasue i have moved and did it in SIX hours. Its got to be a new record when you consider that I went and signed for the flat, checked the new flat, hired a van, emptied one flat, drove to my storage locker and emptied that (apart for a rather important part of the bed – oooops) then put all the stuff into the new flat (with the help of my good friend Clark Mancini) and still made it too a meeting for 4pm. I think I deserve a blast of this music…….

Well I was looking for the theme to Record breakers but Youtube doesn’t have t.. scandle I know. BUT….. while looking for that I found this – check it out! (Call me daddy)

[youtube kY543zxrLPo]

Of course I should point out that the good lady was involved in the move as I wasnot acting alone in this endeavor. I worked out that I have moved house 16 times in the last 7 years – which is rediculous really but it has fine tuned the art of humping my gear about.

So this means that Jimmy the Director is no longer my landlord. I sort of miss him (but not his rent charges)

I thought I wasn’t going to be able to blog as I’ve got to wait a month to get my broadband hooked up again (I know, don’t cry) but it seems someone has left their broadband open for me to lig off. Foooooooooool.

SO I shall collect my thoughs now, buy something to put my decks on and be back blogging soon. (ish as the suns out for Pete’s Sake)

Now the thing that shocked me slightly was that this year you had to qualify for the contest, and My dad (who is Maltese) through a party as the Eurovision is the only chance that Malta usually gets to battle on a (vaguely) level playing field only to find that after buying the nibble, pouring out the drinks and getting the Maltese flag down from the loft, that Malta hadn’t even qualified. Disaster.

On the voting side of things (this is after watching an unfathomably large amount of over made up loves-of-themselves prance about the stage) it was basically a night of camp back rubbing. I got more and more incensed Its a good job we didn’t play the drinking game we were going to play as the tatical voting that went on would have meant that the TV would have exited the house via the window.

Worse still is that I have woken up to the story that Wogers may quit. What! He is the single best thing about the event, and has ended up disgusted at the turn of events there. And if Wogan is upset, I am upset.

The only thing to do is to leave this blog with a vid of andy doing his thing and I guess lets give him gordon Browns job as a form of compensation.

[youtube 2mhZXtm-j7Y]

Check out the fat, smiling Lawrence Fishburn bass player!

No.

Manchester Utd just won the Champions League. I even just heard a firework go off. Which surprises my slightly as I live in West London – not that far from the Kings road and Chelsea’s ground. Now this opens up all sort of jokes about surrey based prawn sandwich eating losers from which I will not get drawn into commenting on. What I will comment on is the fact that I have been unbelievably not bothered about the game. I even went to watch a film with my very sexy lady friend and missed the first half. bothered. I then half watched the second half while cooking dinner (I really stretched my culinary abilities with smash ad vege sausages)

But then the extra time happened, and chelsea hit the post and manchester utd had one cleard off the line and like a junkie who has just been released from prison I’m lapping it like a good un. Then its penalties and I can’t type for chewing away at my nails.

So we’ve got to a cresendo, a team is going to win the Cup in the next few seconds… and its…..

then I realize that I really don’t care cause you maybe the best team in europe but you still released this toss

[youtube 2NXe_M8LgRw]

Oh and you can stop shouting outside my window you red top wearing tit.

A video of one of the best tunes I’ve unearthed in a while

[youtube fdc9dWxYRL0]

And then this which I don’t really know what to say about, other than mid life crisis?

[youtube KAjABypZFzg]