I am Sir Clive Sinclair

I am Sir Trevor Bayliss

I am Sir Issac Newton

I am the guy who invented those little milk pots.

For today I have invented a new phenomenon – Bogging. The world will fall under the delights of blogging from the the white porcelain throne. Like the eureka moment (but stinkier) I knew I was going to write a blog this morning but new that there was some ablutions that had to be carried out… and bogging was born.

It has so many advantages…. if I run out of TP (as the certain Americans call it) then i can order more from Tescos online. If I realise I only have a little of the paper left then I can use the ‘One sheet way of the Crow’. I can download music to listen to. I can watch the Eleventh commandment. I am on the seat (literally) of the world

hmmmmmmmmmmmm I seem to be running out……. of plaudits for bogging of course. Is it worrying that of the short time I’ve been blogging this is the 3rd time I have written about some thing to do with toilet time? Do I need to contact that friendly man again and his padded room. Probably. Unless you are suffering from insane constipation or you are shitty Richard (the smelly kid from school who wouldn’t poo) It is something that we all do though isn’t it, and I think we need to have more botty based transparency. Todays task should be to drop a real stinker in the office or at home, leave the door home and say some thing like “wow, I think I just shat out the cat in there” or “Call Greenpeace, there’s a whale that needs rescuing in the bog” Of course if you do this and get dumped/sacked then don’t blame me, I am merely a conduit for matter.

I am Scat Man John.

And I’m talking about my hair before you start scouring my CD collection for evidence of which way I swing. (although it does have a large supply of Diana Ross, Tina Turner and other disco queens…. what can i say…… i have a homosexual taste in music) I mean check out this episode of the Eleventh commandment to see just how manly I am!  

The reason for the primping of the hair is that i was getting ready for tonight’s show (Nuts TV) and the make up artist was dissing my non-credible ‘Doo’. So I challenged her to make me look wicked…. unfortunately this involved the bastard that is GHD’s. 

Now any one who knows me, and I include you in that now dear reader, will know that I am the laziest of people when it comes to my appearance. I hate putting gel in my hair, can’t usually be arsed to shave and generally spend my time looking like the California man. I almost have a problem with men who can do all the smelling good, looking good shizzle, I mean that sort of thing eats into valuable Xbox time.  This blatant disregard is all this is fine when you are a radio presenter as I was before, but not when you do 3 nights live on TV a week and a highly popular internet TV show. 

So what should I do? Should i go with this new “smooth” look or go and flush my head down the toilet? Should I swallow (carefully casting no  no aspersions to any man looks after their appearance at all!) the bullet or keep my jungle haired ways? 

Geeks galore at i32, the biggest LAN party event in the UK.

Oj gets the low down on the professional gaming scene when he catches up with Odee, and the very first UK professional gamer, Sujoy Roy.

Can Oj survive when he challenges the duo for a Quake IV deathmatch?

 

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Oj’s lunch is spoiled, so he heads out for a little sushi.

Top sushi samurai Yashiro Mineno takes Oj by the hand and shows him just what makes great sushi.
Oj gives it a go, but can he match the samurai’s style? ]]>

OJ, the spandex posing pouch, and the pro wrestlers.

Grown men in tights and Oj in spandex, what else could you wish for from the 11th Commandment. Oh yes, Oj suffering pain and discomfort. This episode delivers it all, in a ring, with pro wrestlers Team Beauftiful.
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Oj is in the Napa Valley, California, to learn all about wine and rap, at the Pejus winery, the USA’s fourth largest wine producer.

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Oj heads to the desert to meet WWE Women’s Champion and GoDaddy girl, Candice Michelle

Oj wants to be a GoDaddy guy, can he make the grade with sexy posing tips from Candice Michelle? Including a special screening of a brand new “GoDaddy Guy” commercial featuring Candice and the champaign soaked Oj.

Includes the track: The Prayer by Bloc Party  

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Oj burns his shoe rubber with Street Luge

What’s the quickest way to get down a mountain road without a car? Oj discovers that Street Luge could get him down at up to 60mph! All he needs are some leathers, a helmet, and little more than a piece of wood with wheels (and no on-coming traffic!). Special thanks to Paul Buss and Marcus Rietma. More about Street Luge at www.gravity-sports.com

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