What do you call a blind dinosaur? See above title.

What do you call a blind dinosuars dog? Do-you-think-he-saw-us REX! ahaha hah ahahhahahahaahah

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-o-lotta-puss. Thats not funny.

Any hoo, jokes aside, there is a reason for my high brow tom foolery. I today, after living in London for two and a half years finally decided to go and do something touristy. And the Natural history Museum was the lucky recipient of my hyperactive presence.

I haven’t been to a museum in years. Last time I went was to the Jewery Wall musuem in Leicester about fifteen years ago – star attraction is Daniel Lambert’s Chair. He was the fattest man in the UK from 1804 – 1805 you know. I can hear a million jaws dropping as I write this. So my abiding memory of museums is being highly bored and starting to think that a life of drugs would be an improvement to seeing some tapestries that were made on one of the first looms. I blame museums like that for every person that has ever tried crack. Amy winehouse was made to go to alot of them you know.

So it was a rather large shock when I rocked up at the Natural History Museum and was shocked at how [swear word alert] Fucking good it was. I ended up running around the place like a child whose just down a liter of Ki-ora (remember getting high on that quality shit – who needs pills!) the highlight being the Dinosaur exhibition (which is why you were subjected to my Tommy cooper styling at the beginning of this blog) with some of the best animatronics that I have ever seen. There was a massive T-rex model that was so good I felt my heart start racing when I wandered into that particular room. Now many people know I’m a massive fanny when it comes to anything scary (example; at 18 I watched the film The Relic and was that freaked out I asked my mother if I could sleep on her floor) but I think anyone would be slightly freaked out by it as standing in-front of sent a shiver right down to the primordial roots of our beings.

I’ll try and prove it now as I filmed it on the mobile……

I admit its probably not as impressive there as it was in the ‘flesh’ but looking into its eyes I was transported back 150 million years (which is about the same amount of times as Bruce Forsythe has been on TV) where I was a simple hunter with the snortin, hungry T-rex ready to rip my face off.

If this is how good Museums have got then I’m going more often and I’m about to do something that I never thought I would have done. I recommend you going to the museum more, especially the Natural History one….. I think it could be a remedy for crack.

Cause Crack is whack y’all. And so is Daniel lamberts chair.

These days have never meant anything to me. Why? Well I’ve never really had a job that gave me them off. When I worked in bars we did the bank holidays cause that is what you did. In radio you tend to get cover shifts and being free lance now means that a day off is a day of unemployment – bank holiday or no bank holiday. The thing is though that banks get loads of days of anyway. When was the last time you saw one of those fabulous men/women in a Natwest on a Sunday? You don’t.

It should be a Bar holiday Monday, where all the people who work in banks then have to work in bars and the poeple who work in the bars can get more shit faced than they already do while working. So thats a plan then? I’l just call the queen and get her to stick it in the schedule.

Couple of linkies cause this week I’ve been pointed to some fantastic animations. First one if from Weebles and is almost better than the bible as it involves ANIMAL POO!

The other is a song that links my 2 favorite things. The song by Nina (called 99 red Ballons) and Breasts. Ten points if you can guess whats gonna happen before clicking the link? Yep its 99 WORDS FOR BOOBS.